Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
