If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
