My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
