How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
