Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
