talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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