Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
