The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
