I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize