We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
