So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
