Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
where does the pee come out of this thing
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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