I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
