I accidentally burped into my bong.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
