I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
kristin has been a bad kristin
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
