Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
