you guys were way drunker than both of me
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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