this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
