if only i could text you this smell
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
