He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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