We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
