It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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