Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
