a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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