Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
babies were throwing up all over the place
even my farts smell like vagina
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
