I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
