kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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