you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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