Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
