hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I touched a dick in church today
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Drunk is a universal language darling
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
