My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
