I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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