Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
