Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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