You're a womanizer and a bitch.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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