once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
