Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
