1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
