Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
