Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
