I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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