She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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