..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
