i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
