K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
