so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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