You can't special order awesome
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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