There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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