i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
