i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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