If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
