and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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