so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
