Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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