she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
