if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Ketchup is God's man juice
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
