also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
false alarm, still single
Randomize
